Filtering by Category: Fellowship

Squaring Chaos and Uncertainty

One of the greatest gifts of the Bush Foundation Fellowship is the ever present opportunity to grow as a leader and as a person. At times, this comes in the form of attending events or conferences, or engaging in dialogue with other leaders, or it may also come in the quiet moments of reflection throughout the day. 

As Fellows, we are assigned a leadership coach and we meet quarterly. My first coaching session was this past month. Frankly, expectations were mixed. I did not know much about the person who was assigned to me, but an impressive resume built up many hopes.

It's fair to say that neither of us expected to have the conversation we ended up having. That turned out to be a good thing. The conversation we had allowed us to get to know one another and to build trust. We were able to draw parallels or connections in our lives that could establish reference points for future conversations.

The gift of this particular conversation was a return to a couple concepts that in the last couple years I haven't given much thought -- the notions of chaos and uncertainty in our lives.

For a long time, my life was very chaotic and uncertain, but circumstances warranted little worry for the uncertainty in my life.

Then the chaos ended. Uncertainty, however remained.

After a little time of settling into new routines and a way of living life, chaos crept back in ... but for me, chaos is oddly calming. To be more precise, one can do very well with ordered chaos. In other words, we can introduce a multitude of responsibilities, demands, and desires into our life, but so long as we do so with intention, what might look like chaos from the outside world, is really very orchestrated.

The problem comes when a symbol, if you will, crashes to the floor and our order becomes disorder. Actually, this is only a problem if you are not prepared for disruptions. You cannot fully prepare for specific disruptions, but you can train yourself to be responsive in those moments when the unexpected occurs.

This takes practice, of course. So does learning how to deal with uncertainty... which is slightly different than the occasional unexpected happening that disrupts your ordered chaos. It was around the notion of uncertainty where I needed a tune-up and got it with my Fellowship coach.

The great thing about life is that there only so much we can make certain. If we knew everything that would happen at every second of every day, how boring would life be? But it is when we want to look beyond the day, or the month, or the year that we have to learn how to embrace what we cannot know. Some things are simply not in our control. Yes, we, through our intentional actions can have impact on an uncertain future, but that impact, generally, may be very small.

Of course, the serenity prayer is very helpful in this area, especially on a personal level. But what about at a leadership level?

That was the unexpected place the conversation with my Fellowship coach took me. Leaders have to constantly be surveying risk and uncertainty, but at what point is too much energy put into that exercise? 

This writing wasn't so much an attempt to answer that question today, but to identify it as an area for more inspection, learning, and application. And certainly, your wisdom and input is always warranted.

The Fellowship Experience Begins

This weekend, the Bush Foundation is hosting a retreat for the 2015 class of Bush Fellows. The retreat is meant to allow our class to meet and get to know one another and to aid in finalizing our fellowship plans and the work we'll do over the next two years.

My intention is to write more about all the facets of this experience as it happens. What I am learning quickly is that this fellowship is going to challenge me in ways that I've never really been challenged before. That, of course, is to be expected, but on day one, the challenges are flooding in.

It is fair to say that my worldview lacks a breadth of cultural and worldly experience. That's one way of saying that my being white and growing up in a community with very little ethnic and cultural diversity has shaped me to think and act in certain ways. Nothing earth shattering here, but after day one, I have already been placed face-to-face with very different life experiences.

The Fellowship experience is already enriched because of this very introduction. I am embracing this wholeheartedly and I look forward to how it will impact my thinking and my actions.

My experience with addiction has permitted me to think about my human place in the world, but I can tell that something was missing from that inspection. The next two years will be rewarding for so many reasons, but this aspect just might be of greatest import. 

Today, a Fellow

Oftentimes it is stated that our formative years encapsulate birth through our mid to late twenties. I've come to believe that we should have formative years all along our entire life and up to the very day we die. This, therefore, is the art of living. We form, reform, grow, progress, etc. We should always be building upon each day lived, giving us new or stronger foundations for days and years ahead.

A formative period of time that stands out today is the 140 days I spent in the Tripp County jail in Winner, SD from September 2005 to January 2006. This period was very clearly a moment of demarcation in my life. Everything before this time was marred by the effects of addiction on my life. Everything after ... well, that was yet to be written.

I received a number of books from family and friends while in jail. One of those books was "American Soldier" by General Tommy Franks. This book, is in many respects, a treatise on leadership through a military lens. Growing up in a military family, I was able to relate to the unique relationship individuals have with the military as an organization. Yet, I was not really sure how to process the book's overall message about leadership. Quite frankly, I never thought of myself as a leader. All my life, I was barely even a follower -- so I thought.

During my radio career, I assumed leadership roles but could not have articulated what leadership meant at the time. Nonetheless, I had experienced leadership in a very intuitive way, and it was through that lens that I processed "American Soldier."

Today, the Bush Foundation is announcing that I am one of 23 Bush Fellows. A Bush Fellowship "is both a recognition of extraordinary achievement and a bet on extraordinary potential." In other words, the Bush Foundation, which serves to improve lives in communities in Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, and the 23 Native Nations in that region, seeks to improve and increase leadership capacity. Through a rigorous process, more than 600 impressive individuals -- already leaders in their own right -- were pared down to 23 and bestowed this honor to engage in self-improvement to become better leaders.

The process was enlightening and humbling. The honor is a privilege.

During the process, I revisited Tommy Franks' book. I was looking for notes in the margins or recollection of insights gained from reading that book while incarcerated. Within the 600 pages only two small paper bookmarks were found. On one is written in fading lead pencil: "Loyalty and Leadership". That notation corresponds to a short paragraph that reads:

During my months in combat, I’d come to understand that a soldier owes loyalty to his unit and to his boss. A leader must be able to count on the complete support of his subordinates. As Eric Antila climbed into that jeep and assumed full responsibility for my actions during the Battle of the Y Bridge, however, I realized that loyalty not only flows up the chain of command: It flows down as well.
— Tommy Franks, American Soldier (p.106)

On the other piece of paper is written: "Managing people". That notation corresponds to two short paragraphs that read:

“Soldiers have a lot of moving parts,” I began. “They require regular maintenance. They are human beings, not machines. They will do amazing things if they know you care about them.” I remembered the devotion of Lee Alley’s men, the respect we all had for Lt. Colonel Antila.
— Tommy Franks, American Soldier (p. 127)
“If a trooper comes to you with a problem, remember this: It’s your problem, and it’s my problem. We’re not going to lose good soldiers because we don’t give a rat’s ass about them as people.”
— Tommy Franks, American Soldier (p. 127)

I suppose a dissertation could be written on why I seemed to have chosen these three quotes out of 600 pages of text. Nothing else in the book was marked, highlighted, underlined, dog-eared, etc. It is fitting, however, that the concept of loyalty being a two-way street and that leadership requires valuing people as people were what resonated with me at that time.

When I was fired from my position at Leighton Broadcasting in 2004, despite my betrayal in the company's trusty in me, I felt they were betraying my loyalty at a time when I was most needing their support. I did not feel like my problem was their problem. In fact, they got rid of their problem ... me.

These leadership values of loyalty, trust, dignity and respect are values my colleagues hold dear at Face It TOGETHER. Those values embody our culture. In fact, what we call the Employer Initiative is based on the very notion expressed by Gen. Franks: "If a[n employee] comes to you with a problem (i.e., addiction), remember this: It's your problem, and it's my problem. We're not going to lose good [employees] because we don't give a rat's ass about them as people."

The military being top-down organization has a much more difficult time with these concepts, which is why Gen. Franks wrote the book. In a flat organization like the one I work in, these concepts are hardwired into our culture, but it does not mean we do not need to work to master those values. We must practice them every day.

Leadership is something I was never directly taught. But apparently it has been part of my experience for a long time and very present at formative moments in my life.

Now, for the next two years with the tremendous support of the Bush Foundation, I get to directly explore leadership, hone those skills, and find my style. The Fellowship will allow me to share my story throughout the region and to explore the way we use data in the pursuit of social impact.

Today, I have been named a Bush Fellow. I am forever grateful for what that will mean for those around me tomorrow.